Better Ability Descriptions

[Aeroblyctos]

Hey.

Few new abilities will be added to the campaign in the coming version. I want you to make their descriptions epic. I will give you few examples how epic I want them to be. So if you have time and skills enough, please help me! Tell me if you have hard time understanding the spells. I'm always here to help you.

Few examples:

Avatar - Fighting with his hammer has trained Phodom's body well. His strength is unmatched and his power is incredible. But that is not all - during the many years of his fighting, Phodom has achieved complete mastery of his body. Because of that Phodom can truly push his body to the limits for a short duration, gaining even more power than he already has. For 10 seconds the strength of Phodom can be increased by X points and he will be enlarged by 30%.

Discharge - Fradz uses power drawn from the being within, setting his mind on destroying his foe with a quick zap. His powers used, several thunderous bolts of lightning come forth from raging skies, electrifying the enemy, damaging it severely. Due to the great power of the being within, Fradz can quickly cast this spell many times without being exhausted, making a spell with low cooldown



=== PHODOM ===


- Phodom's Strength - PASSIVE
   => Phodom is so strong that he can even with his muscles resists incoming enemy attacks. Phodom takes from every incoming attack less damage then normally if the damage of the enemy unit is lower than Phodom's powers, the attacks heals Phodom.
   => It's like Murloc Item Set.
   => Level 1 + 30 STR: 5 + 7,5 = 12,5
   => Level 10 + 100 STR: 50 + 25 = 75
   => Level 20 + 500 STR: 100 + 125 = 225


- Flame Stream - HEAL
   => Phodom is able to store energy of his by every 10 second and checks then if he have under 50% hit points. If he have, Phodom heals himself with his energy. If there is still energy left it will be stored. There is a maximum amount of energy Phodom can store depending of ability's level.
   => Level 1 + 30 STR + 15 INT: 300 + 90 + 45 = 435
   => Level 10 + 100 STR + 75 INT: 3000 + 300 + 225 = 3525
   => Level 20 + 500 STR + 250 INT: 6000 + 150 + 750 = 6900
   => Maximum store amount: Level x 1000


- Phodom's Special - BASIC
   => Within this ability, Phodom will gain one extra Strenght attribute when leveling up. Also, every Phodom's basic attack damage is increased depending how much strengh Phodom currently has(STR/2).



=== FRADZ ===


- Ball Of Lightning - AOE
   => When throwed, a furios ball of lightning will move forward from Fradz dealing damage and stunning enemies that dares comes close enough to the lightning ball.


- Fradz's Special - BASIC
   => Within this ability, Fradz will gain one extra agility attribute when leveling up. Also, Fradz's attack speed is increased by 25% and movement speed by 100 points permamently.


- Evasion - BASIC
   => When Fradz is attacked, he will suddenly shift himself out of existence for one second. After he becames back, his movement speed is maximzed and attack speed is doubled for the next two seconds. Has 15 second cooldown.



=== GALEOTH ===


- Ice Energy - HEAL
   => Galeoth is able to store energy of his by every 10 second and checks then if there is a friendly unit with under 50% hit points. If there is, heals it with the energy Galeoth at the moment have. If there is still energy left it will be stored.



- Sharp Shot - SINGLE
   => Galeoth shoots a small, but incredible sharp ice stick to the enemy's most critical point dealing great damage. When shooted, the ice sharp will increase the speed until it hits the target. Unlike other abilities, this ability can be shot more farer away. More closer Galeoth shots, less damage will be dealt. More farer Galeoth shots, more damage will be dealt.
   =>  200 range = 75%, 400% range =100%, 600 range =125%, 800 range =150%. 50%+(800/8) range =150. 50%+(500/8) range =112,5%. DAMGE RANGE: 50%-150%.


- Galeoth's Special - BASIC
   => Within this ability, Galeoth will gain one extra intelligence attribute when leveling up. Also, Galeoth's magic dealt is increased by 25%.

[GAAL]

Hey,

My two cents.

== Phodom ==

Phodom's Strength - Passive

Phodom is the master of his body which gives him the ability to partially absorb energy of enemy attacks. Every attack which has less damage than Phodom's strength will heal Phodom.

Flame Stream - Heal

I'm not sure what you mean with this description, there is a word lacking in this sentence. He is able to store the energy of what?

Phodom's Special - Basic

Years of training gave Phodom the ability to understand his own body. Phodom will gain an additional strength point when leveling up and his basic attack damage is increased by the strength which Phodom has (Str/2)

== Fradz ==

Ball Of Lightning - AOE

Fradz channels his energy to form a ball, leaving his enemies helpless when released. It will damage and stun enemies which are caught in the path of the ball of lightning.


- Fradz's Special - BASIC (Aerodynamica perhaps?)

Fradz found out by accident how to achieve perfect speed when moving around, this allows him to push the laws of aerodynamica to its limits. Fradz gains one extra agility point per level while permanently increasing his attack speed by 25% and his movement speed by 100.

- Evasion - BASIC

I'm curious as how you want to impelement this skill, is it a passive skill or a skill which the player has to activate? Does the shifting out of existence actually help him or is it just a visual effect? (the mirror image skill?)

"=> When Fradz is attacked, he will suddenly shift himself out of existence for one second. After he becames back, his movement speed is maximzed and attack speed is doubled for the next two seconds. Has 15 second cooldown."

Galeoth

Haven't actually played this character yet (stopped after the second mission) so I can't give decent feedback when it comes to this character.

[Aeroblyctos]

GAAL, you have a good start in your spell descriptions. However, they are not "epic" as I want them to be. I made one description with a help of a friend. Compare it to yours and you will understand what type of texts I'm aiming here. I really hope you'll continue your descriptions. Thanks!

Phodom's Strength - Passive
As a student of Maragath, Phodom were always curious about his methods of teaching. Before the start of each training session, Maragath taught to Phodom how to resist poweful attacks. Many years passed, and Phodom became as hard as stone. On the last days, Phodom asked Maragath what is the meaning of the begin training. Maragath answered: "The best offense is a good defense". Phodom's great thoughness and battle training allows him to resist incoming great pain.

[GAAL]

You have to bear in mind that epic is a relative term , what might be epic for you might not be epic for your target audience.

Phodom's Strength - Passive
As a student of Maragath, Phodom were always curious about his methods of teaching. Before the start of each training session, Maragath taught to Phodom how to resist poweful attacks. Many years passed, and Phodom became as hard as stone. On the last days, Phodom asked Maragath what is the meaning of the begin training. Maragath answered: "The best offense is a good defense". Phodom's great thoughness and battle training allows him to resist incoming great pain.

If you want to use that:

Phodom was always curious about the teachings of his master Maragath. Maragath taught Phodom how to resist powerful attacks before the start of every training session. Many years passed and Phodom became as hard as stone. Phodom was able to hold back his curiosity until the final day of training when he finally confronted his master about his methods of training. Maragath answered: "The best defense is a good offense, but you won't last if you are not able to take a blow." Phodom is unrivalled in toughness which allows him to attack with injuries that would bring down an ogre.

(The official saying is the best defense is a good offense)

[Aeroblyctos]

Hey, hey, hey.

You are good at this. Let's do another way. I use my imagination, and you use your english. I will make those texts and you make them better.

Deal? I start immediately...

[bloodclot]

- Flame Stream - HEAL
   => Much like a fire rekindling itself as it wanes, Phodom has mastered a technique that allows him to recover energy while injured.  Phodom trained his body to store excess energy when he is healthy and then reclaim it when he is weakened.  With less than 50% of his hit points remaining, Phodom can convert small amounts of stored energy into health.  This technique has become almost second nature to Phodom as it is a passive ability which is activated every 10 seconds.  As Phodom increases his training in Flame Stream, his storage capacity will increase.

[Aeroblyctos]

Hey, I just completed my part and it's now yours. Edit the ability descriptions and make them epic! Also new names for abilities is possible. Are the current names good enough? It's important that there is a little story behind every ability.

And about that "Flame Stream", can you somehow merge mine & yours together...?



Phodom's Strenght

Phodom was always curious about the teachings of his master Maragath. Maragath taught Phodom how to resist powerful attacks before the start of every training session. Many years passed and Phodom became as hard as stone. Phodom was able to hold back his curiosity until the final day of training when he finally confronted his master about his methods of training. Maragath answered: "The best defense is a good offense, but you won't last if you are not able to take a blow." Phodom is unrivalled in toughness which allows him to attack with injuries that would bring down an ogre.


Flame Stream

It is a myth, but there might be another mana type resource of a living creature. This is called Energy and within this ability, Phodom is able to use it. As it lies in deepest mind it is hard to use and increase the maximum capasity, unlike mana. Phodom is able to use his own energy to heal up himself. Every ten second some of Phodom's energies are restored and after that checks if Phodom's health is less than 50%. If it is, energy is used to heal wounded wounds and if energy is left, it will be stored.


Phodom's Special

There have never been, and will never been a limit of strenght. Phodom knows this, and have become stronger anyone would never believe. Still, there are much to go if Phodom ever wants to become powerful as well-known warriors like Banegh. There are some training methods to become stronger without training so much, and this is one. Gives one extra strenght attribute everytime Phodom gains a new level. Also, increases the basic attack damage of Phodom's.


Ball Of Lightning

Even for Fradz, sometimes fights can become really challenging and deadly. When such a moments happens, it is best to stun the enemy and think a better tactic to win the opponent. This ability is made for these cases, Fradz is able to create a lightning ball as fast as lightning and then throws it towads enemy units. This furious ball of lightning will stun and deal lightning damage to enemies that are in its way.


Evasion

In the history books of human kind, there are none who is able to cast himself out of existence, expect Fradz. Fradz is sometimes so mystery and scary with his fightning powers. "There are still millions of things to be learned from Fradz" said Jarrod once. That is indeed true, and Phodom have learned that. With this tricky ability, Fradz can shift himself out of existence for one second to get attention away from himself and get other friendly unit get the damage. After he becames back, his movement speed is maximzed and attack speed is doubled for the next two seconds. Has 15 second cooldown.


Fradz's Special

Fradz is known within Dragon Slayers for his quickness and stupidity. However, only few knows him personally well. Fradz is not really a stupid as he plays to be. He's quick, strong and fast learner. He might not have patient, but when he tries something hard, he succes. With this ability, gives Fradz one extra agility attribute everytime Fradz gains a new level. Also increases Fradz's attack speed by 25% and movement speed by 100 points permamently.


Ice Energy

Only the most powerful wizards can control the energy inside perfectly. Galeoth, as a student and a son of Vandart have taugh Galeoth well. It is not always wise to use mana, even if it's easier to use, regenerate and train. Sometimes energy can be used, because it is not usually used, and it remains most of the time usused. With energy, Galeoth is able to increase energy and then heal nearby friendly units every ten second. If there is a unit with under 50% hit points, it is healed. If there is still energy left it will be stored for later use.


Sharp Shot

Sometimes so small can hurt enemies more than a huge rock. Galeoth creates a small, but ridiculously sharp little icy stick to his hands and throws it onto an enemy unit's most critical point. When still in the air, the speed increases rapidly and when it hits, it creates devastating pain and damage to an enemy unit. Unlike other abilities, this ability can be shot more farer and so it will deal more damage. But this ability also have a weakness, less damage will be dealt when cast closer.


Galeoth's Special

The magical powers are unlimited, it is possible to grow stronger and stronger, only the age is the real limit. This problem can be avoided, but only few in the history can do this. It is known that Axobada, Zeemnan and Tharo can manipulate the age and always looks so young and fresh. Galeoth have not yet found the secrets of this manipulate spell, but he sure is strong with his magic. This ability grants a 25% bonus damage on all Galeoth's abilities. Also, as Vandart have taught, Galeoth knows the way to become stronger, gives Galeoth one extra intelligence attribute everytime Galeoth gains a new level.

[GAAL]

Hey, I just completed my part and it's now yours. Edit the ability descriptions and make them epic! Also new names for abilities is possible. Are the current names good enough? It's important that there is a little story behind every ability.

And about that "Flame Stream", can you somehow merge mine & yours together...?

You mean Bloodclot's flame stream? I take it that you did so I'll incorporate it.

Flame Stream

There is a myth about a form of energy inside living creatures that can rekindle the host in the same manner as a waning flame. It is called energy and only a few are able to tap into it, but Phodom is one of those lucky few. He has focus to reach into the depths of his mind in order to obtain and store energy. Phodom has to unleash the energy whenever he has less than 50% health since he can not focus on storing it. The energy is used to heal others when Phodom can focus on them. The skill is almost second nature to Phodom as it is a passive ability which activates every 10 seconds. Every level of Flame Stream will give Phodom more energy capacity.

Phodom's Special

Many men are bound by the thought that they can not be stronger, but Phodom always said that there is no limit to strength. Every warrior laughs at Phodom whenever he says it until he reminds them of the warrior Banegh. The laughs of the warriors in denail fade until the moment that they silently agree with Phodom. Phodom still has a long way ahead of him if he wants to become as strong as Banegh, but he has the skills to get there without training. Phodom's special will give one extra strength attribute whenever Phodom gains a level, it also increases base attack damage.


These are the ones I have done for now, I will continue later tomorrow. Let me know what you think of it! I'm always glad to help

Phodom's Strength (Strenght is incorrect)

Ball Of Lightning

Even the speed of Fradz can not help him in every fight, these fights can become challenging and will result in the death of Fradz. Fighting is not always the answer, it is better to retreat and study the enemy from a distance in order to create a new battle strategy. Fradz has just the skill for this, he can create a ball of lightning which propels itself towards enemies. Any enemy unfortunate enough to stand in the path of the ball is stunned and damaged by the shock. 

Evasion

Fradz can be both mysterious and terrifying when it comes to his fighting prowess. There has been no record of a person which can cast himself out of existance, with the exception of Fradz. Evasion allows Fradz to shift out of existence for one second so that enemies lose track of him. The enemies will switch targets, allowing Fradz to come back to this plain of existence. The shift gives another added bonus as Fradz can move with the speed of an arrow and strike with the strength of an ogre. The movement speed of Fradz is maximised and his attack speed is doubled. This skill has a 15 second cooldown.

Comment: Left out ""There are still millions of things to be learned from Fradz" said Jarrod once. That is indeed true, and Phodom have learned that." since there was no added value of that sentence within this skill description. There was enough story in this sentence.

Fradz' Special (Fradz is not plural so it should not be 's)

The dragonslayers have long known Fradz for both his quickness and his stupidity. Many of them do not realise that it is just an act. He is in fact a quick learner, strong as a bear and as fast as the wind. The only thing that is in his way is his patience. Fradz has to try hard to succeed, but he rarely fails once he does try. This skill gives Fradz an extra agility point whenever he gains a level. It also gives a one time bonus which increases both his attack speed by 25% and his movement speed by 100.

Have to go to sleep since I am tired,  I wll try to do the last few tomorrow evening.  I will also look into the spelling and grammar of these to skills since I have the feeling that I might have overlooked something. It is also possible that I will have a look at the ability names as well if you really want me to.

[Ion_Daemon]

Just a small thing...it should be Fradz's. The 's doesn't indicate plural, it shows ownership. "Bob's car" kind of thing. Though if his name ended in an s, you would be right.

Meh, depends on who you go by. Though it's not terribly important and it's clear either way. And geez, now that I read it again I really come off as a condescending jackass...

[GAAL]

s, x and z are actually equal in this matter

the only exclusion to this rule is plural.. which Fradz obviously is not.

[Aeroblyctos]

Flame Stream

There is a myth about a form of energy inside living creatures that can rekindle the host in the same manner as a waning flame. It is called energy and only a few are able to tap into it, but Phodom is one of those lucky few. He has focus to reach into the depths of his mind in order to obtain and store energy. Phodom has to unleash the energy whenever he has less than 50% health since he can not focus on storing it. The energy is used to heal others when Phodom can focus on them. The skill is almost second nature to Phodom as it is a passive ability which activates every 10 seconds. Every level of Flame Stream will give Phodom more energy capacity.

I don't like the idea that "Phodom is only one of the few that manages to use this power," Also you have misread the description: this ability only heals Phodom. Galeoth have an ability just like this that heals also nearby friendly units.

This description should be fixed.

Phodom's Special

Many men are bound by the thought that they can not be stronger, but Phodom always said that there is no limit to strength. Every warrior laughs at Phodom whenever he says it until he reminds them of the warrior Banegh. The laughs of the warriors in denail fade until the moment that they silently agree with Phodom. Phodom still has a long way ahead of him if he wants to become as strong as Banegh, but he has the skills to get there without training. Phodom's special will give one extra strength attribute whenever Phodom gains a level, it also increases base attack damage.

It was a bad descision for me to put that Benegh into this description. Also you went too far away from the original text in a way that I don't like. I have remade the description.

There have never been, and will never been a limit of strenght. Phodom knows this, and have become stronger anyone would never believe. Still, there are much to go if Phodom ever wants to become powerful as other well-known legendary warriors. There are some training methods to become stronger without training so much, and this is one. Gives one extra strenght attribute everytime Phodom gains a new level. Also, increases the basic attack damage of Phodom's.

This description should be fixed.

Ball Of Lightning

Even the speed of Fradz can not help him in every fight, these fights can become challenging and will result in the death of Fradz. Fighting is not always the answer, it is better to retreat and study the enemy from a distance in order to create a new battle strategy. Fradz has just the skill for this, he can create a ball of lightning which propels itself towards enemies. Any enemy unfortunate enough to stand in the path of the ball is stunned and damaged by the shock.

Otherwise good, but the description doesn't actually tell why it is good in situations like this. Reason is: it stuns, it is easy to cast and it effects to many units.

This description should be fixed.

Evasion

Fradz can be both mysterious and terrifying when it comes to his fighting prowess. There has been no record of a person which can cast himself out of existance, with the exception of Fradz. Evasion allows Fradz to shift out of existence for one second so that enemies lose track of him. The enemies will switch targets, allowing Fradz to come back to this plain of existence. The shift gives another added bonus as Fradz can move with the speed of an arrow and strike with the strength of an ogre. The movement speed of Fradz is maximised and his attack speed is doubled. This skill has a 15 second cooldown.

Excellent one.

Fradz' Special (Fradz is not plural so it should not be 's)

The dragonslayers have long known Fradz for both his quickness and his stupidity. Many of them do not realise that it is just an act. He is in fact a quick learner, strong as a bear and as fast as the wind. The only thing that is in his way is his patience. Fradz has to try hard to succeed, but he rarely fails once he does try. This skill gives Fradz an extra agility point whenever he gains a level. It also gives a one time bonus which increases both his attack speed by 25% and his movement speed by 100.

Otherwise okay, the story it good, but it somehow doesn't "melt" with the the bonuses actually. 






Thanks for the descriptions, GAAL. You have some cool description and some need to be improved. I hope you can continue and we can finish the descriptions. Thanks already!

[Lmao.Me]

Mind if I pop in?

=== FRADZ ===


- Ball Of Lightning
   Some enemies cannot be defeated with speed, instead you need to fight them from range. Fradz knows this, which is why this tactic was created. He conjures a ball of lightning and throws it at the hostiles, knocking them out for a short duration, while making big wounds on their bodies.


- Fradz' Special
   With many years of training Fradz has learned how to get a bigger bonus from training. While leveling up, Fradz also gains extra movement and attack speed to help him defeat his enemies with ease.



=== GALEOTH ===


- Ice Energy
   Just like Phodom, Galeoth can store his energy. He, however does not use it for himself. Instead he has trained so that he can heal his allies if they have less than 50% health.

- Sharp Shot
   Galeoth can shoot a small, but strong shard of ice at his enemies. The shard will keep gaining speed until it hits the chosen target. Unlike his other spells, when the shard is throw from farther, it will gain more speed, thus dealing more damage.

[Aeroblyctos]

Na, na, na... Sorry but they are not long enough and doesn't feel epic at all... 

[bloodclot]

Phodom's Strength

Phodom's master Maragath was a supreme warrior.  During his years of apprenticeship, Maragath taught Phodom how to increase his resistance to powerful attacks.  As the years passed, Phodom learned to withstand even the most devastating blows without getting staggered. 

Flame Stream
Rename to Inner Fire

Besides mana, all living things have another dormant source of energy coursing through their bodies.  After years of intense training, Phodom has learned how to tap into this latent energy and use it to increasing his bodies healing ability.  Every ten seconds Phodom assesses his physical state and if his health is less than 50%, he will convert some of his energy into enhanced healing ability.  If Phodom's health is not critical, he will store this energy for use later.


Phodom's Special
rename to Self Improvement

Advanced training techniques have enabled Phodom to continue to develop his strength far beyond that which his normal training schedule would allow.  With this ability, Phodom's strength will increase at a faster rate than normal throughout his combat experiences.  An additional strength point will be added each time Phodom gains a level.


Ball Of Lightning

Never one to pass up a cheapshot, Fradz developed a skill which allows him to stun his enemies with a powerful blast of electricity.  During combat, Fradz can use this technique to create a sphere of electricity and hurl it at his opponent.  The furious ball will stun and deal lightning damage to any enemy in its path before it finally dissipates.



I'll post more later.

[GAAL]

Thanks Aero, I will continue working on them once I have the time.. I'm currently busy with setting up my own company, so spare time is scarce. When do you need the rest?

There is one thing that I want you to think about: read your other descriptions and check if there is something in them which can influence the descriptions. You now know how I work, that should give you insight on the matter of miscommunication